*opens 27 snapchats and doesn’t reply to a single one*
job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job
Forever wondering if I am contributing to a conversation by using my own experiences or being self centered and rude.
next time you hear a white person say “well if black people can say the n-word why can’t i???” you should ask them “why do you want to?” and listen as they try not to say “black people have something of their own that I am not entitled to and that hurts my feelings and makes me feel inferior”
whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”
Then stare right into their eyes and say, “I hope”
* are mean to their mothers
* are against feminism
* only want you for your body
* will/are leading you on
* think you owe them something
* think they are entitled to your body
This is very important
If you’re going to kill Harry you’ll have to kill us too!
No, only one will die tonight.
when you strip down naked in an elevator and u know everyone is checking you out
"you’ll get ink poisoning"
haha funny thing is, its actually impossible to get ink poisoning this way. the only way to get sick with ink is to eat around 16 pens full of ink to even be slighty harmful
when I was a kid, I actually ate the ink of a pen or two. Worried, my parents called animal control. Turns out that pens are soy based, so you really can’t get sick from eating them. That doesn’t mean you should try though.
Wait, why did your parents call animal control?